Melting Bob

This child is a comedy genius.


BBC NEWS | England | Hampshire | Schoolboy first to 'name' iceberg

An enormous Antarctic iceberg will be known as "Melting Bob" after being named by a Hampshire schoolboy.

Melting Bob is three times the size of Greater London with a surface area of 1,985sq miles (5,141sq km) and had been referred to by a codename - C19A.

But Max Dolan, aged six, from Winchester, won the Scott Polar Research Institute competition.

Organisers said it is the first time an iceberg has been known other than by its numeric codename and co-ordinates.

Melting Bob is of course hot on the heels of Mr Splashy Pants

I like the way they think!

Over at Boing Boing, they've hit upon a most fascinating idea:

Who'd like a portable text game console? - Boing Boing Gadgets

BBG co-editor John Brownlee wants someone to make a simple, cheap handheld roguelike in a similar vein to the dedicated Tiger portable games of yore...

Graphics, shmafics. The ampersand is timeless.

Eurovision - The final results

I'll be quicker than some of the presenters.
The winner of the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest is... And i'd just like to thank Serbia for a fantastic night.

The winner is, Russia.

In other news, i'm delighted that the mighty Spanish scored so highly. Unfortunately, not even Franco could have fixed this one for Spain, it was too derranged.
As Eurovision fades in our memories lest we become permanently scarred, just remember the term Numptycore. You heard it here first, it's going to be huge.

Eurovision - Spain

I have no words. I think it's rap... But awesome. It might even be in a genre of its own - Numptycore.

I will find and post a video of this entry when I get back home. It needs to be seen to be believed.

UPDATE

eurovision 2008 - Spain (original version)

Eurovision - Latvia

These guys have to win... Pirates... Camp pirates. I think I'm hyper-ventilating.

With a hi hi ho to all of you

Eurovision Latvia 08: Pirates of the sea - Wolves of the sea

Eurovision - Go Europe!

Tis the night of Eurovision and all through the land pubs are rejoicing with the mirth of bad music.
I shall try to post regularly but I may get swept up in it all.

The story so far...

• Wogan is on comedy form
• The Bosnian entry is as mad as a box full of monkeys on unicycles... and scary too
• The Finnish entry is pure big hair and nipples rock!

Patented Process Indicating Apparatus

It is a device that shows you stuff, configurable stuff.
I must own this, all my processes need to be indicated.



The Device Patented Process Indicating Apparatus ::Features::

Dirty Harvey

You can't fit a shop like that.

Feet of Flames

These guys are awesome!
It's pretty much early communist break dancing choreographed by the ministry of silly walks.

Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon

Web Zen: leftover bacon zen - Boing Boing

Leftover bacon zen

I know at least two of my regular readers are bacon fanatics. In that vein, I think Boing Boing has provided a delightful bacon filled post just for them.
Let nobody say that I don't take care of my readers.

Rejoice, Rejoice, The Surreal Will Take Us All

BBC NEWS | England | Coventry/Warwickshire | Naked Ugg boot ram-raider jailed

A man who ram-raided a supermarket clad only in a sheet and a pair of Ugg boots has been jailed for four years.

People seem to have lost their fascination with life, that childlike wonder that we all once had dulls as we grow older and discover the responsibilities of our obligation to society's norms - Get a job, get married, buy a house, protect your possessions.
Every so often I encounter a story which takes me back to a simpler time, a time where the absurd machinations of a child-like mind could be called art. A time of lobster telephones and R. Mutt.
This is such a story, albeit in a roundabout way. In this case, booze induced immaturity of thought inspired a man to drag a sheet round his naked body and pull on his girlfriend's boots in preparation for a night of ram-raiding.
If we remove from our thoughts the fact that crime was on his mind, rather than any artistic statement I believe we find something just sort of true genius. Imagine if, instead of a cigarette hunt, he took to the streets for a classic 60's freak-out. He would be fighting the establishment by holding up a fun-house mirror to their mundane everyday existence and in one fell swoop, they would become the absurd.

From Wuss to God... All in the same bottle

Now this is a great solution for all those couples where there's a disparity between the number of scovilles that each of them can handle. The gist of it appears to be that there is an uber-spicy solution in one half and an anti-chili solution in the other half (or perhaps not actively dousing but diluting). The cap twist modifies the ratio of each solution per spray.
Personally, I love the idea of a spray chili dispenser but I think I could crate a version for a little less than the unreasonable £9.95 price tag on Firebox. Maybe with a super-soaker and flying pucks of meat launched towards a BBQ... I feel a man-plan forming.

Darth Pope Destroys!

(Courtesy of the BBC)

The walls, they move!

In case you don't read Penny Arcade, here's a video they linked to which is mucho fabulous.

I'm particularly impressed by the amount of wall they managed to deface in the name of cool internet videos. (A cause I whole-heartedly support and for which, I will gladly donate any of my friends' organs)

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU

Wombles from the hood

The nice people at Pact have created a bad ass Wombles video to illustrate the effects of American TV on our dear sweet kiddie widdies.
I have to say that the accented relentless catch-phrases near the end of this video make me want to claw off my ears with a spoon, however, I have trouble feeling passionate about this cause.
I grew up with the likes of Danger Mouse, Trapdoor, Transformers, Dungeons and Dragons, etc... In this divisively small list there is a 50%-50% UK\US split and I proclaim that where the cartoons differ is production values. The US shows looked better.
Sure, the UK ones had a homemade charm to them, but I've only really come to appreciate that since around University age.
The UK shows were more intelligent (from what I remember), have better scripts, and are frankly funnier. Kids like shiny though... so very very shiny. How else can you conceivably explain the Power Rangers and Pokemon fads.
(Japanese shows, lame dialog throughout)
How about we up the budgets a little on our home made kiddie shows. Make them flashy and clever. Problem solved, I win, break out the Mysterious Cities of Gold box set.


I digress though... with quite alot of deep seated anger I never knew I had.

Back to Wombles from the hood... with knives and lingo. Ok, no knives, but LINGO!

To sign the UK TV for UK kids petition you can head over to http://www.britishkidstv.com/

BadAss Wombles

An extensive menu

So very hungry! Whatever am I to do?

ManBabies.com

I am a little terrified of this site. Basically it's picture after picture of fathers and their kids, with their heads swapped. SEE!

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

The Art of Manliness

I can't tell whether this is a good thing or not. Please advise.
Free Guide to Being a Gentleman | The Art of Manliness

Cans Festival

This fine lazy Sunday morning, I decided to get some art in me by visiting the Cans Festival - A wondrous gathering of stencil street artists in a dingy tunnel by Waterloo station.

The event has been organised by Banksy and is set to run until the end of the bank holiday weekend, so considering it's Sunday at the time of writing, you'd best get a wiggle on if you want to see it.
The really fun part is that if you want to wander along with your own stencil and some spray paint, you are more than welcome to add to the already mighty body of art on the walls.

I'll be sorting out all the pictures when I get back home, but for now I'll post a coupe of my favorites.

Update
Full set of pictures here
Also a stencil progression here

Boris gets in

Everyone has woken up this morning to the news that Boris "the buffoon" Johnson has ousted Red Ken Livingstone from the seat of London Mayor.
Not only that, but the Conservative candidate win has come about in the context of Labour's worst ever performance in local council elections for 40 years.
The other controversial issue to fall out is the London Assembly elections. The BNP party has managed to field a candidate that's won a seat.
Many other sites and venues of reputable news have summarised the elections over many thousands of words so what i shall do is supply a few links to the most interesting sources of info that I've come across; mention the headline outcomes and also do something that nobody else will dare to do. I shall predict the future based on the election results.

First, the sources and headlines:

1. A very nice PDF from the Guardian describing the Mayoral election results breakdown.
   
   What's good - Voter turnout reached 45.33% which is up 8.33% from 37% in the 2004 Mayoral elections. I can't place what's inspired the public but I hope this continues into the next general election
   What's bad - Almost 70,000 people voted for the BNP candidate. Why s this bad? Well the "People Like You Voting BNP" part of his manifesto page on londonelects.org.uk is pretty illuminating.
2. The BBC excels again in election map technology with a picture of the county's allegiances.
   What's interesting - Almost all other parties gain at the expense of Labour. They managed to lose 331 councilors while the Conservatives picked up 256. Particularly bad for Labour was the Welsh results, an area that is typically referred to as the Labour heartland.
   The other fun fact in the local election results is that the BBC has projected the following share of the party votes across Britain: CON 44%, LD 25%, LAB 24%. That means the Lib Dems could potentially be in opposition.
   
3. The Telegraph has a simple table showing the London assembly results. No flashy graphics here.
   What's interesting - The implosion of the Lib Dems and UKIP in London. That ranks up there on the scale of strangeness with the Conservatives taking the Bury council.

I hope that helps making some sense of all the information blasting us over the past couple of days.
Now for the part you've all been waiting for, I have taken all the election information into my brain, muddled it around and I have come up with a picture of the future. Behold!

Boris Johnson will trip over his tie and injure his head on an immigrant. This incident will be spun in the media by Richard Barnbrook as proof of the underhandedness of all non-Brits.
This will spark a race-riot that will engulf the entire south of the UK. The north will bask in it's new found economic conservativeness and become the financial powerhouse of Europe.
Wales will still have NOC and will be destroyed in a mini civil war.